Dancing With Stars For Fucking Morons
I would like to plead with those of you who are watching tonight's Season Premiere of ABC's Dancing With The Stars to please Please PLEASE kill yourselves as soon as humanly possible. Have no mercy, and don't make it a quick, easy death either. Try to remember that supporting Dancing With The Stars is the cultural equivalent of giggling joyously whilst anally raping an 85-year-old woman with a blunt, anthrax-coated samurai sword in front of all 13 of her great grandchildren, each of whom, in his/her pubescent glory, is simultaneously being forced to fellate a defrocked priest from Bayonne, New Jersey--none of whom has bathed since the Asian financial crisis of 1997 and each of whom had gathered, at that time, along the Western shores of Borneo to fuck the bloody eye sockets and eat the corpses of the racially and ethnically inferior Madurese ("they're lazy and violent").
Remember, you are stupid enough to be entertained by Tom Delay and have therefore given up your right to exist. You are hereby reminded to quit breathing the oxygen meant for others as soon as you can conveniently contrive the aforementioned painful death.
Good bye.
Good riddance. We'll not miss you at all.
Thanks and big smoochies,
Your bastion of good taste and well-earned elitism,
---the PseudoLatino
Posted by earwicker at September 21, 2009 09:42 PM