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Our Nemesis: Emesis?

You can say what you will, but the misfortune of others can be profoundly funny. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it's one of those "there but for the grace of god go I" kind of things. Perhaps it's because we're all born with a bit of moral twist and perversion. Or perhaps it's one of those irreducible things that can be observed to be true, but whose explanations miss the point of the exercise entirely and fall rapidly into the trap of Greedy Reductionism.

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Trying to unravel why other people's embarrassment, pain, and suffering can cause us to guffaw, to spew milk through our noses, or to otherwise convulse involuntarily most likely misses the point. The fact is easily observed: we--you and I, the common man, the average joe--DO find it funny. Cathartic, even. And frankly, I don't really care what the reason is. After all, I don't need to hear an infinitely detailed physiological description of an orgasm to fully EXPERIENCE an orgasm, and to know (and I mean really, truly KNOW . . . beyond a shadow of a doubt) that the Big O is one of the most powerful motivating forces in all of human existence. Do you?

I didn't think so.

And so it is with Schadenfreude. There should be no debate. Laughing at the often radical mishaps which befall other people isn't "crass" or "uncivilized" or "improper" or indicative of some foul flaw in our collective character. No. It's the norm. We all experience it, though there is certainly a threshold at which the misfortune moves into another, darker, realm of involuntarily elicited social response. At the mildest end of the spectrum, we've got America's Funniest Home Videos (and its clones in a dozen other languages and countries) to prove just exactly how liberating it is to watch our fellow human beings get kicked in the groin, fall off their bikes, or trip over a bench and fall face-first into their own triple-decker wedding cake while 250 people look on (many of them--Shock of Shocks--ROTF LTAO). At the other end, well beyond that aforementioned threshold, we've got cult classics like Faces of Death, or whatever it is that happens when we drive past the scene of a deadly automobile accident, or oft-viewed YouTube compilations of tragedy and carnage. Our discomfort with our own fascination clearly grows stronger as we move from AFV to FOD, yet still . . . we move.

Let's leave for some later date the darker end of this story, because TODAY what we're really here to talk about is vomit. Yes. I did say 'Vomit.'

Puke.
Emesis.
Tossed Cookies.
Technicolor Yawns.
Ad nauseam (hahahah . . . aren't I such the punster today!)

Vomit is, simply put, funny. So long as you aren't the one vomiting and the vomitor (or vomitatrix) isn't hurling on YOU, or into the backseat of YOUR car. Or, for that matter, your airplane. Which naturally brings me--at long last--to the genesis of today's post: airplane vomit.

During a wonderful, spring-like, beautiful saturday afternoon of skydiving, I was drawn forth from a bit of mealtime reverie by the sound of laughter coming from the Skydive Dallas hangar. The laughter was originating from several of my friends, who were unceremoniously gathered around the monitor of an inconspicuous laptop. Their laughter was intense, exceptionally loud, and interspersed with involuntary groans. At least two viewers had tears in their eyes. Being more hungry than curious at the time, I remained in my seat but, when quizzed later, one of the crying divers told me that they had been watching a YouTube video involving a hapless passenger on a small 4-seater aircraft who . . . well . . . let's just say she was having some problems keeping down parts of her surely-nutritious, largely digested dinner. And let's also say that the pilot, rather than acquiescing to her predicament, decided to go for broke.

I was curious, and so this evening I decided to hunt down the video and show it to my favorite Nurse amongst Nurses, the Valerina. It was rather easy to find. When, near the end of this pithy, 17-second video, the pilot decides to take his aircraft into a nosedive and treat his passengers to a couple seconds of Zero Gs, Yours Truly was reacquainted with his inner sadist. I laughed until I was having muscle spasms. I laughed until I was red-faced, sweating, and gasping for air. Why? I dunno. I don't care. Watching the Airsick Bag get filled, and then re-empty itself in the completely unexpected and explosive way that it does, is completely and totally wrong. As in "oh my god, that was sooooooooo wrong!"

It's also hysterically funny.

And then there's the TV Interview Vomit, which is funny, but less so. Why is it less funny? Because somehow, I think, it's less "wrong." Unlike the poor, innocent victim in the airplane, you get the feeling that this guy--who obviously showed up hung-over (or perhaps still intoxicated) to plug his ridiculous film festival--deserves what he got. Fortunately, the reporter's reaction is perfect: just the icing that this particular cake needed.

If you think this is just the PseudoLatino pulling wild theories out of thin air, consider this:

A 30-second advertising spot in yesterday's Super Bowl cost a whopping 2.7 million dollars. According to TiVo, Inc, the MOST WATCHED ad that aired during the game was created by E-Trade, so I'll just step aside and let the $90,000 per second advertisement speak for itself. (Do any of you actually think E-Trade is gonna spend about $270,000 of their $2.7 million for a punch-line that the overwhelming majority of the estimated 95+ MILLION PEOPLE who tuned in would find distasteful? I didn't think so)

Your Advocate for Upchuck,
Your Spokesman for Schadenfreude,

---the PseudoLatino

Posted by earwicker at February 4, 2008 11:59 PM