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International Year of the Dwarf
Happy New Year to PseudoLatinophiles world-wide. And at this point, we can say "world wide" with a clear conscience, confident in the veracity of our declaration.
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This includes, most definitely, the dood in Turkey who recently found me by searching for "beautiful dwarf porn," or the Berliner (no, not a donut) who arrived by searching for "swinger party." Being nearly as fond of dwarves as Joel-Peter Witkin, Your Hero was able to assist these international seekers of sooth with my posts "Dwarf Porn, W.A.S.T.E., and Liberace's Grave" and "Blind Dwarf Swinger Party," respectively. This latter post was also apparently helpful to a visitor from Monterrey, Mexico, who was searching one evening for "swinger latino," and got little ol' me and my Blind Dwarf Swinger Party instead.
In light of this trend in PseudoLatino search targets, His Radiance the PseudoLatino Himself thinks it makes sense, hereby and forthwith, to proclaim the Year of Our 'Tard Two Thousand Eight as "The International Year of the Dwarf."
Of course this is in NO way meant to slight all the perverted Brits who (far more strangely, in my opinion, than googling for "dwarf porn") landed on my site by searching for "grope granny" or "groping grannies." Oddly enough (and with heartfelt, abundant thanks to the Anal Bede), Yours Truly just happens to have a rather popular post called, aptly, "Groping Granny."
I am truly an equal opportunity offender. Or at least I aspire to be such.
And with that, I again wish you all the happiest, dwarfiest year thus far in your lives.
Your Servant,
---the PseudoLatino
Posted by earwicker at 12:00 PM
Pontius Pilate's Dog. Satan's Cat.
As part of a series of New Years non-resolutions, Yours Truly has just finished reading his first novel for 2008, Mikhail Bulgakov's classic The Master and Margarita. I first read this magical PseudoLatinoesque satire back during the holiday season of 1995 . . . a lifetime ago. Its charm and enchantment have not faded during that time. I could say simply that the novel is about the reconciliation, two thousand years in the making, between Pontius Pilate and Jesus of Nazareth . . . a reconciliation facilitated, unexpectedly, by a nameless Russian author known only as the Master, his lover and literary enabler Margarita, a terribly misunderstood Satan and his mischievous retinue, and a host of irritating Soviet bureaucrats who only get what they deserve.
I could say that, but I won't. Just read it. There's nekkid women, decapitations, a gunfight between a vodka-swilling tomcat and soviet police, ritual blood drinking, murder, magic, betrayal, distortions in the space-time continuum, a Great Dane who remains faithful to his master across two millenia, . . . and did I already say nekkid women?
---the PL
Posted by earwicker at 11:59 PM
Three Birds
A little visual skydiving humour (if the graphic doesn't work for you, try this link):
Posted by earwicker at 09:00 PM
Book Worm
Continuing in my New Year's non-resolution vein, Your Literary (Pseudo)Latino has just completed two more books:
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
Heart of a Dog by Mikhail Bulgakov
As I am currently embroiled in the act of adding the epithet Skydiving Saboteur to my current title of Tango Terroriste, I have little time to elaborate upon these books for your general edification and amusement. I'll keep it short and sweet.
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Anyone who is interested in an inventive use of language and a mainstream application of experimental typographical techniques would do well to pick up Foer's EL&IC. It ain't Thomas Pynchon, but I was pleasantly surprised.
Bulgakov's Heart of a Dog on the other hand, though entertaining, is far beneath The Master and Margarita in both imagination and execution. Still . . . I had to read it. I admit that when I discovered that the plot involved the unexpected consequences of transplanting the pituitary gland and testes of a petty criminal into a stray Moscow dog, I had to give it a shot. And even with my profoundly limited knowledge of 20th-Century Russian/Soviet history, the satire is pretty hard to miss.
In any case . . . enough for now. The Saviour of Bad Behaviour is off to do His thing.
Ciao,
---the PL
Posted by earwicker at 11:59 PM